10 Things I Wish I’d Known when I was Planning my Wedding

10 Things I Wish I’d Known when I was Planning my Wedding

Unless you’re a professional event planner, wedding planning can be stressful at times. I’ve planned one before and been around countless other weddings, and I’ve learned a few things along the way that I hope will help take some of the mystery and stress out of it for you.

1. Doing a first look can help you and your groom feel more calm. Stephen was SO nervous before our wedding. My photographer told me later that she didn’t take many photos of him with his groomsmen before the wedding because he looked so uncomfortable and nervous in all of them. I know that doing a first look would have helped calm his nerves and made the time before the wedding more enjoyable for everyone.
2. Delegation is key. I am a control freak, and there’s a part of me that would have wanted to do everything myself on my wedding to make sure it was done just the way I wanted it. But I think that would have killed me or made me go insane. Giving detailed instructions to people I knew could do a good job and trusting them to do it was a HUGE help.
3. You will get tired of the details. Have you ever gotten to a point in a project/school assignment where you just don’t care anymore you just want it to be done? I have, and it’s not a pretty sight. This is one of the reasons delegation is key, to help prevent this from happening, but it probably will anyway. As the wedding got closer, I got more and more tired of planning and spent less time thinking about decisions I was making. I regret some of the decisions I made too quickly just so I could check it off the list. For example, we got our programs printed at Staples in black ink on cream colored paper. I wish I had done something more colorful and original!
4. Everyone has expectations about what the wedding should be. Even in the best situations, this is going to happen. Stephen and I were planning the first wedding in both of our immediate families. That meant that both we and our parents had expectations we didn’t even realize we had, and the indicator was getting emotional about something. My mom didn’t realize how important to her it was that we get married in a church until we started looking at outdoor venues. No one knew how emotional the guest list was going to be until it happened. There will be a time when you feel in the middle between two people with differing opinions, and it would have been easier for me to handle had I been prepared for it.
5. David’s Bridal is not the only dress store. And it might be one of the most expensive. They don’t have a very wide or unique selection of accessories (like your shoes and your veil), and their alterations department can be hit or miss. You can get beautiful bridesmaids dresses at department stores like Macy’s and Belk or other clothing stores like JCrew and Modcloth for a fraction of the price.
6. Day-of coordinators are really important. You don’t have to spend a fortune hiring a wedding planner, but having someone to run point (if it’s a friend, someone who will be good at running point) the day of is crucial. People are going to have questions all day long and if you don’t have a coordinator those questions will fall you or your mom, and neither of you want that.
7. Someone should know how to bustle the dress. It happened at my wedding, and it happens at so many that I photograph: it takes 20 minutes to bustle the dress because no one knows how to do it. This can shorten the time you have at the reception or time you have to take posed photos, and nobody wants that!
8. You won’t remember everything. In fact, despite your best efforts, you may remember very little. That’s why your photographer and/or videographer are so important. Most of the things I “remember” are things I have photos of.
9. You won’t actually spend that much time with your groom on your wedding day. That is unless you do a first look and/or have an earlier reception exit. One of the best pieces of advice we received before our wedding was to plan to go out to dinner after we left the reception (so I guess I technically knew about this one while I was planning), and I’m so glad we took that advice! Some of my best memories of the day came from out built-in recap time at dinner.
10. Planning for your marriage is much more important than planning your wedding. I had been told this, but I don’t think it can be said enough. So many people get caught up in the details of the wedding day and forget to plan for something far more important: your marriage. At the end of the day, no matter how the wedding day goes, you’ll be married. Make sure you’re setting yourself up for success from the beginning by talking about things like budget, housing, faith, in-laws, etc. ahead of time.